With remake and reboot fever in full swing Matthew Wilson counts off his top picks for potential cinematic rebirths.
The unwritten truth of modern cinema is that the word “remake” is one of the dirtiest out there, just above post-production 3D but just underneath Uwe Boll, and it’s not hard to see why; in recent years remakes have become pointless cash grabs that bank on name recognition of popular films to sell tickets. Gone are the days of The Thing or The Fly which took a good concept with limited execution and enhanced it, nowadays it’s only the most recognisable names that get remade despite fans of the original not wanting a remake and non-fans not caring about a new version. But to go back to The Thing and The Fly for a moment, both of them as well as several other films prove that remakes can be a good thing, either through poor execution or just lacking the technology to keep up with their scope older films can be remade into stronger works, or completely reimagined in the recent case of HBO’s Westworld. So rather than ignoring all remakes as pointless, let’s look back on some film that could, and indeed should, receive the remake treatment.
The League Of Extraordinary Gentleman
Technically this falls under the same category as Westworld in that the series Penny Dreadful has secretly remade League for the small screen but the chance to see these famous literary characters interact on a larger scale is too good to pass up. The original League was based off the graphic novel series by Alan Moore which proved a lot more violent and adult than the adaptation ended up being to keep in with the horror roots of its main characters. And it is the characters that would make this film which is what the original film forgot about in favour of pointless action and overcomplicated motives. Perhaps Penny Dreadful can remain the best League adaptation we have but a stripped back, R-Rated film version could still work in the right hands, David Ayer has consistently proved himself one of the best around for team films so the potential is there. Just so long as they don’t involve Mr Hyde raping The Invisible Man to death because that’s actually a thing that happened.
The Hunger
An early film for the late Tony Scott, The Hunger was a vampire movie following the immortal Miriam, her not-so-immortal husband John, and her consort in training Sarah. While atmospheric the film is glacier slow, the plot feels like two half-written stories were pasted together to make a full length feature and the only memorable thing about it is a lesbian scene between Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve. The fix here is easy, have more of a connection between the first half of the story with John realising that Miriam has tricked him and the second half with Sarah investigating Miriam herself, a general tightening up would be best because vampire movies do still have a market and the involvement of sexuality would appeal to a more adult audience, Jim Jarmusch followed a similar path with Only Lovers Left Alive and would probably find similar success here.
I Am Legend
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this Will Smith vehicle, aside from some shoddy CGI work, but it’s the third adaptation of the novel of the same name and the third to get it wrong. The main issue with this film though is the ending which goes far too safe and far too Hollywood by ignoring the novel’s darker and more thematically appropriate reveal that all the feral vampires Neville has been killing have their own thriving community, making Neville the legend of the title. To use the cliché, ‘Stick to the book’ this should’ve stuck to the book, at the very least included more of the ambiguity and thematic weight that came from the novel’s reveal of Neville’s legend. In the right hands – and I’m thinking Denis Villeneuve for this one – this could be one of the best soul-crushers out there.
In Time
There is a great idea at the heart of In Time, where people are forever young and use their personal life span as currency, there’s a host of potentially nightmarish segments that could be used to create a very Black Mirror-esque sci-fi thriller. Instead what we got was a heavy-handed excuse for a parable with poor characters and a general lacking of originality despite its unique premise. Perhaps this would serve better as a Black Mirror episode, keep things self-contained without stretching too far and running out of steam. The satire is ripe for a Charlie Brooker send-up and in today’s culture there’s a lot that could be done with the material.
Don’t Look Now
This choice is less to do with the quality of the film – it still holds up as a horrific look at grief and the effects it can have on the mind – but more with the age, this an older film and that does come across quite vividly with a grainy camera and some slower segments that stop the film in it tracks. A modern update wouldn’t necessarily be better but would make for an interesting turn thanks to modern advancements and perhaps introduce people to the original. Following her last use of grief as a horror device I can think of no-one better than The Babadook’s Jennifer Kent to tackle this one.
The Last Airbender
Oh, wait. I’ve just been informed by a friend that there isn’t a Last Airbender movie and he has no idea what I’m talking about. I guess you can’t remake something that doesn’t exist and the history of Avatar is so rich that trying to fit it all of it, as well as the detailed and rich characters who surely wouldn’t be miscast into a 2 hour movie would be ludicrous. Right?
World War Z
I’m partially cheating again because this one needs to be a TV series and it needs to follow the book, the Brad Pitt vehicle was a clumsy attempt to follow one man around the globe looking for the cure only to end up as Jesus Pitt Saves The World sponsored by Pepsi. The novel features several different accounts of life in the zombie apocalypse going so far as a full decade after the outbreak and examines everything from government corruption to humanity’s own unwillingness to see the writing on the wall. It’s a critique of bureaucracy disguised as a zombie novel and the film had nothing to do with it except the name, making it a TV series and keeping the social commentary would be the first steps towards something that could rival The Walking Dead for our weekly fill of the undead.
Idiocracy
Arguably the best idea to be turned into a sub-par movie, Idiocracy has gained traction recently due to its frighteningly accurate predictions for modern life, but even so, the film itself is heavily flawed and runs out of steam even with the very short run-time. Ironically for a film about stupidity it needed to be more intelligent, actually have some focus rather than just blanket-statement, everyone is stupid there’s so much more refinement that could’ve been done to turn this into one of the better political satires of our age but instead we’re left with the man behind Beavis and Butthead making a nation of Beavis’ and Buttheads. Let the Apatow Crew handle this one, they’ve made a business out of loveable idiots so this feels right up their street.
The Entity
Much like Don’t Look Now, this isn’t about making a bad film good but updating an older film for a modern audience and personally this is ripe for an update. The original Entity had its lead character Carla attacked and raped by a spirit, but when questioned about the attack her past in a repressed childhood, possible molestation, teenage pregnancy and the violent death of her first husband all come into question leading to the belief that Carla is imagining the attacks. It’s a rare form of horror movie that delves that deep into a character’s psychological profile but it creates a deeply disturbing and intimate picture. With the rise of social media and with it cyber-bullying, there’s a new angle to be found with Carla being bullied online for being a young mother and other insults that could add to her damaged psyche putting more doubt as to what actually happened to her. Put Cerina Vincent in the lead role and It Follows’ David Mitchell in the directing chair and you have yourself a remake.
Obviously there’s a lot more 80s schlock out there that could stand the remake treatment but I don’t want to go too deep here. What I’ve hoped to achieve is to show that remakes aren’t the devil’s instrument, in the right hands with the right intentions they could be used as a source of innovation and interest rather than a quick pay-day. They’re always going to exist but hopefully one day we’ll learn how to utilise them properly.
